I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
