if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
