We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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