If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
