Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
