we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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