There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
