Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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