it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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