so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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