I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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