She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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