it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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