i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize