dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
