you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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