Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i need some magic done to my vagina
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
