she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
