so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I am available for nakedness
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A+ Viking dick
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
