I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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