she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
