I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
