): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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