oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
