is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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