I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize