our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He passed out mid-signature
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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