In the future we'll all be gay
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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