Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
