I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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