He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
soo... how was my night?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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