Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
