Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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