East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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