My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
