I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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