he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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