Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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