Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
