his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
