yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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