you mean i was at the winter classic?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
