just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize