I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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