It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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