using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
