Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
