i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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