why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
