My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
