I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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