Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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