stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize