I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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