i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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