Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
