My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
