The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
