OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize