Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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