When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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