she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
