Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
